Mapping the Merlin Subcontinent
by himitsutsubasa
Summary: Arthur is making a map. Merlin is being bribed. Cherry candy is delicious. Yeah, I'm tired. I've printed at least seven maps of Europe. You made one in ten minutes? I hate you.


Wall of Disclaimers is up. Not joking, I printed at least eight maps so far. And I've labeled just about every one only to discover something was wrong. I'm frustrated. This isn't going to be bloody brilliant and we all know it.

* * *

Arthur glared at the map. Bloody AP Euro. Why the hell did he have to make an A4 size map? Everyone knew that all of Europe (though the instructor hadn't mentioned Azerbaijan it was on Wikipedia) would not fit (thanks a lot Iceland).

He glared at the map. His neat print was a size eight font but it still didn't fit the Carpathians or Kosovo on the map. Actually, Liechtenstein was getting to be a bit crammed too. Not to mention, he hadn't even heard of San Marino until that morning. He thought being the prince of Camelot would have at least given him that piece of information.

There were at least another fifty terms to go. Then he would have to memorize their locations and the terms of medieval history. He had finished the paper on political trends in Eastern Europe from 1976 to 1991. That part had been elementary. The rest was getting on his nerves.

So, he threw his pen down and picked up his phone instead.

"Merlin." His grudging friend was taking the same course. Though, he wasn't taking it from private tutors who were the devil incarnate. A roughened voice came on over the line.

"Hey, king prat, do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Almost midnight."

There was a yawn. "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"Map and reading are due Friday." Arthur twirled his pens.

"Today is Wednesday." Merlin was captain obvious.

"Yes. It's the fifteenth of August while we're at it. "

There was a moan. "Don't try to be funny. Call me in the morning."

Arthur popped the question he had been planning to ask. "Did you make a map?"

"Yes, good night." There was a fumbling sound, probably for the receiver.

Arthur whispered into the phone, "Merlin, I will make it worth your while if you sneak in with your map."

"No," the other muttered.

Arthur ran a hand through his hair. "You are magic."

"Your guards are dangerous." Merlin had a no breaking into the north wing of the castle rule. The north wing was where the royal family lived. Merlin lived in the eastern wing, where staff and guards stayed, with Gaius.

"You can just apparate here." Arthur began rolling out of his bed. Merlin needed a really good incentive.

"Apparate isn't a word. It's a Potterism. In the real world, it's called teleporting." The voice was more awake now. Arthur imagined Merlin was glaring at his alarm clock and rubbing his face.

Arthur grinned when he found it. "You like cherry flavor right?"

"What? Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?" Merlin sounded more confused than usual. That must have been difficult.

"I have a box, a full box, Merlin." Arhtur shook it for emphasis. "It's all your if you get here, now."

Merlin sounded more awake than ever. "Full box?"

"Yep."

"And I bring my map?"

"Yep." There was a rattling sound. Merlin was probably pulling on an oversized shirt.

"I'll be there in a second."

Arthur hung up and waited. He counted to thirty before a knock came from the adjoining bathroom. There were wards around his bedroom, but Merlin managed to exploit a loophole in the restroom's , a later addition, wards.

"Come in."

Merlin opened the door in his pajama bottoms. Never mind that about the shirt.

"You sleep in you boxers?" Merlin just eyed the box.

"Sexual harassment code 15.4 and 43.16. You promised me a full box."

Arthur picked at the plastic wrap. "Unopened"

"Fine."

Merlin tossed his A4 sheet onto the bed. Arthur gave threw him the box. The boy slipped a candy past his lips. He made and audible moan as his eyes rolled up.

"God, that is good."

Arthbur rolled his eyes watching Merlin make sounds that belonged in a porno. "You are an addict."

"You can only get this imported from Monaco. There is no way I can afford that." Totally true. Arthur had asked for a box specifically to bribe Merlin for something eventually. That day had come.

"So, map?" Arthur shook his head.

"I see something more interesting."

"More interesting?" Merlin's eyebrows did that funny little dance.

"Yeah." Merlin brushed all the materials off the bed and lay down. His whole upper torso was muscular in a lean way. Arthur had always known there was something good about the swim captain. He was a rugby guy but he appreciated other sports. Especially ones that toned people that way.

"Arthur?" Arthur peeled his eyes away and focused on Merlin's face.

"You have the nicest cheekbones."

"You liking them?" Merlin propped himself up. A glimpse of a red crystal appeared in his mouth as he spoke.

"A little." Arthur leaned in. "I…" Merlin pulled him in for the plunge. Oddly, Merlin was better at handing over control than Arthur thought. For all his insubordination, he would let Arthur lead.

Arthur felt a warmed, round object enter his mouth. It tasted like cherry. Merlin was smirking. "You wanted a taste?"

"Yeah, I think I want a little more." He pulled Merlin back in. When they finally broke the kiss, the candy had passed between them five times and Arthur discovered he could breathe through Merlin's nose if he wanted to. The candy had melted by the time they spoke.

"I think we're doing this out of order." Merlin was flushed a cotton candy pink and breathing a little harder.

"Oh?" Arthur felt a little like headed. He hadn't held a kiss longer than five minutes. Actually, he was sure the onscreen record for longest kiss was four minutes and something.

"You're supposed to say 'I love you' and give me flowers." Merlin was such a classic romantic that way.

"I gave you candy."

"So?" Arthur look him in for another plunge.

"Do you really need me to say 'I love you'?" He asked breathlessly.

Merlin smirked into the next kiss. "You already did. Remember last month?"

Arthur recalled the awkward moment they shared when he was kidnapped. "I guess I did."

"You could say it again."

Arthur ghosted his lips over Merlin's neck. "As good as last time?"

"Maybe better." There was the crinkling of plastic.

* * *

Arthur took a good look at the map. It all fit somehow.

Merlin's hand writing had its own flair of strokes. Even Liechtenstein fit. The creator was lounging on his bed, a soft after-glow on his skin.

It was a freakish ability to make things work that characterized Merlin's work. Now, he stared between the vibrant colors and the flowing water and … what had he just said? He took a closer look. The mountains had snow on them and the forests were made of carpets of trees.

"Merlin, is this map enchanted?" Merlin, now definitely awake, smirked.

"Yeah."

Arthur turned on him. "So, how can this help me?"

"It won't." Merlin licked his lips. The map flew back to his hands. Arthur threw a pen at his retreating figure.

"Filthy con!" He was almost on the skinny boy.

Merlin had ducked into the restroom and turned. "Ungrateful mark!" There was a dramatic puff of pink smoke as he vanished.

Arthur groaned. Time for bed. The map could wait.

The next day he looked at his paper. Oddly, Liechtenstein fit and the water was a deeper blue. He did a double take. There was a cherry candy on the corner of his map.

"To: Arthur. Thanks for the candy. Merlin."

Arthur popped it into his mouth. "Not bad, Merlin."

He glanced at the wrapper and grinned.

"Surely better than 'not bad'."

* * *

Because I'm making a map and it won't fit 8x11. This is an example of frustration fiction.


End file.
